The past is a resource and my longing for the past is a tool for continuously creating myself anew. New material for telling my story comes from visiting the past and staying long enough to realize that there are gaps and shadows everywhere. The fun stems from shedding light on the shadows and filling in the blanks. Instead of trying to secure my one true past, I find joy in accepting its non-existence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI

My mother studied to become a librarian and had three children, all within the span of ten years. I called her up, just to confirm. She laughed and said that yes, from 1989-1999, she was a very busy woman! She explained that the reason for her haste was her love for each of us and motherhood. She just kept wanting “More! More! More! “.

“Mor! Mor! Mor!”, we urged Anette (Mor means mother in Danish) to read our favorite books to us before bed. The books either came from the library or from our collection in our living room. A once we would old enough to read on our own, we would read all day. I remember laying on the rug right by the bookcase until circular indents formed on the skin of my elbows. Afterwards rubbing them always helped blood flow back and also helped my consciousness ease back into the present.

We spent fast days, slow days and between those days at a library perched on a small hill near our house. Pennsylvanian summer weather led Anette to bring snacks and beverages, so we could stay all afternoon in the air-conditioned sanctuary. We spent hours reading on chilly wooden animals or on more carpeted floors in the aisles between bookcases. A habit that perhaps came from wanting to read the book as soon as we picked them off the shelf. Our dad endearingly called us “rugrats”.

Maybe books were behind my sister Ellen’s appreciation for childhood. She refused to grow up at every turn while other kids cursed their smallness. The rest of us children began to live according to the rules of the “real world”, and she held on tight to the wonders and justice found on storybook pages.

And then suddenly the magic of childhood was gone. Just as my sister had feared. Its dust was only made visible at times when struck by that Pennsylvanian sun. Maybe even allowing an indoor starry sky to momentarily exist. Illuminated specks in the air. Particles drifting, then suspended, before disappearing again along with the day.

Many years later, during a particularly cold winter, I asked my sister what she wanted for her birthday. She took one of her longer-than-most-people-would-take pauses. Then she turned to me and said that she wanted an experience. She told me that this would be a way to live not a longer life, but more life. That life is like a book, and to write an epic one must experience all sorts of unique events.

this month i became a member of a coop and now co-own a 2-rack server with the other members! i'm looking forward to learning more about the open source services on the server and also maybe having a say in what other services we should add! i'd like to host my blog there, since it is the part of my site that grows in size, but keep my main page where it is- and also bc i just found out that my main page is featured in a book!

The picture of Bille (my canine friend) at the bottom of the page has now been "dithered", a process that even further reduces the size of the image - by over 70%! Putting the size at under 20kB. And cropped, which makes it only 4kB. Also looked into how I want to blog. I want to follow indie web principles "DRY" and "own your data", as well as have an eco-concious hosting, a layout that allows easy nav, no set content style or direction, small posts/journalling, and a self-hosted newsletter manager for sending newsletters.

Edit: the below links are dead now, they were online for an reading group event at Demokratihuset. I have taken the pdf down, bc I don't think they will be accessed. I still think this book (Technologies of speculation) is a great read and can recommend borrowing it at ETHOS LAB at IT University of Copenhagen. and here is the link to the collectively (CURSOR) made curriculum for the event: https://www.notion.so/cursormag/Apr-2nd-Surveillance-capitalism-1978c8a06a008029818dce64fcf1e33e?pvs=4

Intro
Ch. 1 (first couple of pages are the first page, just skip)
Ch. 2

hanna changed the image of Bille, so that it loads lazily and is compressed. he already looked very lazy and compressed, but now the picture is too.

the title is the word portmanteau with the last bit switched to the word "tog" , which means train in danish and is phonectically identical to "teau".
This makes it a pun i suppose and also maybe a riddle? what kind of train connects words?